Month: June 2015

Talkin’ Liar Blues

story time! one day in town
a man i’d never seen around
was at the diner down the street
with a strong cup of coffee and a window seat

i sat with him and asked his name
why he was there and who was to blame
he said he was my future self
then laughed and drank to both our health

i asked him how my life would be
he took a sip and turned to me
said “one day you will sit right here”,
he laughed again and disappeared

the next day i went there again
to see if i could meet my friend
he wasn’t there so i took his seat
looked out the window, drank some coffee
bittersweet

 

now here’s another tale for you
i was lookin’ up at skies of blue
the ground beneath me shook and broke
and mother nature started tellin’ a joke

i couldn’t say no, she’d already begun
she says “stop me if you’ve heard this one
a comet’s flying by a star,
he shouts ‘i’ve traveled very far,
i’m just passing by, i mean no harm’

well even though he said he’d leave
that comet had a trick up his sleeve
he paved the way for that race of yours
and blew away the dinosaurs”
lucky break

 

here’s yet another yarn i’ll spin
exploring ruins in south berlin
i came upon an altar soaked
in ancient blood, i nearly choked

the moon shone through the clouds above
and focused on a statue of
a lion’s angry head upon
a human’s body, lean and strong

the statue’s eyes began to glow
he spoke in words direct and slow
“leave this place at once” he said
i’m not ashamed to say i fled
wouldn’t you?

 

i have another tale to tell
it’s about an oversized seashell
i saw one evening on the shore
never seen one quite so big before

i put the shell up to my ear
and i suspected i would hear
the ocean roar, but to my surprise
it grabbed me and pulled me inside

inside the shell, i looked around
to find myself on the sandy ground
in another place, by another sea
i guess i solved that mystery

you wanna know how i got home?
well i found another shell in the tide and foam
it pulled me in, and i woke on the sand
face up beneath the stars with the shell
in my hand

 

the final sordid tale i’ll tell
it starts off in a place called hell
i was there on holiday
but just my luck, it snowed all day

pigs were flying, fire was cold
the red sox won the superbowl
hitler won the nobel prize
then ate a box of freedom fries

i started thinking twice, you know
about my trip way down below
when lava streams began to flood
and demons called for mortal blood

just as things were looking grim
i saw the evil prince of sin
rise from the ash, and with a yawn
he turned his central heating on
what a jerk!

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