manliness

Battles: A New Drinking Game

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting a drinking game for the new millenium: BATTLES! I conceived of this game with a little help from my friends and give it now to the internet. The rules are simple, and I think it will be a success if all the kinks are worked out. All you need is two dice and a case of beer.

Battles

  1. There are two teams with an equal number of players on each team.
  2. Each team possesses a die, and each player possesses a beer.
  3. Battles are one on one.
  4. Each player has hitpoints equal to their age. (21 years old = 21 HP)
  5. Each team chooses one roller to roll for their team each round.
  6. The higher rolling die wins, and the difference of the higher and lower dice is the amount of HP lost by the loser, as well as the amount of drinks each member of the losing team must take. (6 vs. 2 = 4 damage to loser, 4 drinks for loser’s team)
  7. When a player’s HP drops to 0, they are defeated and the dice are given to the next players in line for either team.
  8. If the damage which drops a player’s health to 0 is the same amount they had remaining (3 damage to someone with 3 HP), that person gets a “ghost roll.” The player gets to reroll against their killer, and if the ghost roll wins they gain 1 HP and take one personal drink, and are able to play one more round.
  9. The winning team is the team with the most remaining HP after every player has played one round.
  10. The game continues for a number of rounds predetermined by the players or amount of alcohol available.
  11. Rounds continue until a winner is decided, at which point the losing team must finish their drinks.
  12. Glory to the victor, humiliation to the defeated!

In the event of my death…

On a whim, I thought of what I want done with my body when I die, which hopefully isn’t for another half century or more, but who’s to say? Since I’m sure wordpress will be around for that long, I’m putting it on here.
I hereby request to, upon my death, be interred in perpetuity in one of the following three ways, the first being preferred if at all possible at the time of my death, followed by the second, and then the third.
1. Put me in a tiny little rocket box and fire me off into the universe in a random direction. Maybe directed at a distant galaxy…
2. Bury me in a biodegradable shroud and plant a tree over me. Do not use any formaldehyde or non-biodegradable chemicals to preserve my body. I’m dead, I’m gonna get worse looking, just accept it. I prefer a place where the root system won’t disturb nearby graves, so something outside a designated public graveyard would be great. It probably shouldn’t be a fruit tree, since it might feel a little weird to eat fruit from it. On second thought, go ahead and make it a fruit tree. But pick something like apples at least. Or oranges, if the climate is right. Oranges are awesome.
3. If neither the rocket nor the tree burial can be worked out, cremate me and spread me over the Pacific. Anywhere is fine, since I’ll likely cover parts of the whole ocean floor at some point.

Talkin’ Beer Pong Blues

well, I went to a friend’s house the other night
I drank and I smoked, I was feelin’ all right
I spotted somebody with a ping pong ball
overheard ’em yell how he got ’em all
went over to see what happened
turns out, he was right

sooner or later, my turn came up
my partner said try to sink a cup
I missed that shot, and the next one too
I said I must’ve forgot to wear my lucky beer pong shoes
guess I gotta make my own luck
or make my own shoes

after a while, my luck started to change
figured out my strength and the length of the range
I got a little cocky, made a trick shot or two
I even sunk a bounce shot out of the blue
it was beginner’s luck, at least,
that’s what the other team said

there was one cup left, we were down to the wire
if I made one more I’d be on fire
I took a deep breath and I focused my aim
for the game winning shot of my very first game
took my shot, missed completely
maybe I’ll do better tomorrow

The Art of Manliness.

Hey all, this is just a plug for one of my favorite websites, The Art of Manliness.

“The Art of Manliness is authored by husband and wife team, Brett and Kate McKay. It features articles on helping men be better husbands, better fathers, and better men. In our search to uncover the lost art of manliness, we’ll look to the past to find examples of manliness in action. We’ll analyze the lives of great men who knew what it meant to “man up” and hopefully learn from them. And we’ll talk about the skills, manners, and principles that every man should know. Since beginning in January 2008, The Art of Manliness has already gained 53,000+ subscribers and continues to grow each week.”

They have everything from how to start a fire without matches, to all the baseball pitches every man should know, to how to shave properly. Lots of good stuff, and worth checking out whether you happen to be a man, a woman, or anything in between.