true story

Talkin’ Liar Blues

story time! one day in town
a man i’d never seen around
was at the diner down the street
with a strong cup of coffee and a window seat

i sat with him and asked his name
why he was there and who was to blame
he said he was my future self
then laughed and drank to both our health

i asked him how my life would be
he took a sip and turned to me
said “one day you will sit right here”,
he laughed again and disappeared

the next day i went there again
to see if i could meet my friend
he wasn’t there so i took his seat
looked out the window, drank some coffee


now here’s another tale for you
i was lookin’ up at skies of blue
the ground beneath me shook and broke
and mother nature started tellin’ a joke

i couldn’t say no, she’d already begun
she says “stop me if you’ve heard this one
a comet’s flying by a star,
he shouts ‘i’ve traveled very far,
i’m just passing by, i mean no harm’

well even though he said he’d leave
that comet had a trick up his sleeve
he paved the way for that race of yours
and blew away the dinosaurs”
lucky break


here’s yet another yarn i’ll spin
exploring ruins in south berlin
i came upon an altar soaked
in ancient blood, i nearly choked

the moon shone through the clouds above
and focused on a statue of
a lion’s angry head upon
a human’s body, lean and strong

the statue’s eyes began to glow
he spoke in words direct and slow
“leave this place at once” he said
i’m not ashamed to say i fled
wouldn’t you?


i have another tale to tell
it’s about an oversized seashell
i saw one evening on the shore
never seen one quite so big before

i put the shell up to my ear
and i suspected i would hear
the ocean roar, but to my surprise
it grabbed me and pulled me inside

inside the shell, i looked around
to find myself on the sandy ground
in another place, by another sea
i guess i solved that mystery

you wanna know how i got home?
well i found another shell in the tide and foam
it pulled me in, and i woke on the sand
face up beneath the stars with the shell
in my hand


the final sordid tale i’ll tell
it starts off in a place called hell
i was there on holiday
but just my luck, it snowed all day

pigs were flying, fire was cold
the red sox won the superbowl
hitler won the nobel prize
then ate a box of freedom fries

i started thinking twice, you know
about my trip way down below
when lava streams began to flood
and demons called for mortal blood

just as things were looking grim
i saw the evil prince of sin
rise from the ash, and with a yawn
he turned his central heating on
what a jerk!

China and Tibet. And the Dalai Lama.

The Dalai Lama was here in Madison recently, and though I didn’t get tickets in time to see him, he was there to open the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s Center for Investigating Healthy Minds. He’s been an idol of mine, someone whose attitudes towards life and existence we could all benefit from.

It is my firm belief that any group of people who would exile someone like the Dalai Lama are a bunch of fucking tools. That means the government of China. Good luck to the people of China getting those assholes out of power.

Origin of Life Metaphor.

Picture a vast kitchen, filled with every ingredient you can imagine. Now picture if you threw these ingredients all over the room, coating every surface and mixing them all together. In some places they could conceivably come together and make the mixture for chocolate frosting. In others they could become bread or chicken noodle soup or any type of food. In the same way, all the ingredients for planets existed in the universe and came together in various areas, and on our Earth, we were lucky to have just the right ingredients come together to create life.

My Challenge.

Starting tomorrow, or midnight, I will not use a computer for a total of seven days. One week, no internet, no downloading, no music, nothing.

I talk a big game about wanting to be a monk or a hippie or whatever, but I realized I’m a slave to la computadora, and so it’s come to this. If I can’t make one week without using a computer, then what chance do I have of making it for months, or even years? I like to think my will is stronger than that.

Tonight, I surf to my heart’s content. But no more until the stroke of midnight on the 8th, bringing me into the 9th and finishing out my week of internet abstinence. Wish me luck, folks.

A second chance; a fresh start.

Aha, my first post of the new year. I don’t intend to make this a blog about my personal life, since it’s not all that interesting. However, the other day my mom nearly died from an allergic reaction to some medication she took. I got her to urgent care just in time.

It didn’t feel like she was close to death. It’s impossible for me to even consider the fact that she could have been gone forever just because of some pill. In fact, I wasn’t even that scared when they were fixing her up. I told myself it was because I had faith in the medical staff at the hospital, but the truth is I just couldn’t fathom it. I felt like I was in Garden State, sort of.

On a related note, a few weeks ago I lost control of my car on a long stretch of ice and nearly killed myself and another driver. I only avoiding a 50 mph collision on a turn-off by slamming my car into a snowbank and spinning out to stop the car from slamming right into another one. After that, I felt excited. I felt very happy, not because I had survived, but because it was fun. It was a lot of fun. I’m not a thrill seeker or adrenaline junkie, but near-death experiences are more exciting than terrifying to me. I can’t explain it.